Wednesday, February 13, 2008

In Hiding Today

I have found that when everything goes wrong I go through several stages.

1. Anger. More like mad. I am so angry that it causes insanity, hence the "mad" description.

2. Denial. I can fix this! There has GOT to be SOMETHING I can do or someone that I can call and fix all of this mess.

3. Revenge. I start thinking of ways to make people pay for all of the wrongs they have committed against me and my family. (This is where things take a turn for the worst and get ugly).

4. Depression. I don't sleep, I don't care, I hurt inside and out. I have chest pains. I quit knitting. (SHOCKING! I know. For those of you who know me, just knowing that I would let time pass without picking up yarn and needles is really scarey!)

5. Attempts to resume living. This is where I knit until my hands hurt, I get head aches, my neck hurts from being so stressed out, I can be seen "petting" my favorite yarns, and laughing at stupid tv commercials in an effort to "cheer up" (I don't even like tv!).

6. Hiding. I don't want to go out, I don't want anyone to call me because I can't handle anymore bad news, I can't handle anymore depression or anger (madness), I don't want to open my curtains, I don't want to get dressed, I daydream about running away to my "undisclosed location in Mexico" and not telling anyone, and my hands hurt from knitting too much (I finished the hooded sweater, dyed and skeined up a thousand yards of yarn, knit my Sockamania sock to the half-way point, and finished the hand spun yarn fingerless mitts yesterday--and that was just in my spare time while I wasn't running errands, shopping, meeting friends for lunch, crying over my husband dilemma, cleaning up a MUDDY dog, picking up kids from school, etc, etc, etc). I'm not depressed, I just want to hide from everything.

Hiding is where I am today. I have been running around the internet reading all of your blogs. I am so happy to have all of you visiting me here!!! Your blogs and comments have picked me up and helped me each day the last two weeks. I can't say thank you enough. I hope that each of you receive an added measure of peace and happiness in your lives for showing so much kindness to me. I wish I could send all of you something knitted out of the softest warmest fiber--that's my way of showing how much I love/appreciate you. When I give knitted items away I feel like I am giving you a hug that you can wear everyday.

So, onward (forward, upward, something). Here is the yarn I dyed and skeined up yesterday. I know, I know, I am NOT a "pink person", but I really like it combined with brown. And Daisies are my MOST favorite flower so I had to do something to pay tribute to them. Both yarns can be found in my etsy store.

I will try to get some pictures taken of all the FO's for next time. The hooded sweater is GREAT!

Well, I HAVE to go to the grocery store or there will be problems when The Daughter gets home from school--there's nothing to eat or drink in the house. Which means I have to shower, get dressed and drag myself out to the car--kicking and screaming, "I DON'T WANNA GO!!!" I'll have to reward myself when I get home with an entire afternoon of SERIOUS knitting................. and hiding.


Hege said...

We are very like...
I kind of go trough the same stages as you when I feel like nothing is going my way.

I really hope you are feeling better and that things are getting better for you and your family!!

You've knitted a lot of great stuff lately. The socks came out great.
And the pink/brown yarn is beautiful!

Awesome Mom said...

That is some awesome yarn!! You have a real talent for picking colors that go well together.

Annie said...

I love the pink and brown, too.

Good luck hiding out.

pontos said...

Hello there, I kind of now hat stages too... :P
The yarns turned out great, but the pink/, love it!
You are welcome, but as I have already stated, you are the one to be thanked for! And I know you will like to hear this one, I´m hearing your hat today, so consider myself hugged! :)

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

just fun to even look at!

AfternoonMoon said...

Oh my, that sweater is so perfect in its simplicity! Good idea on recycling the fiber. Cabo San Lucas sounds like a great Mexico "hiding" place. Meet you there?