Monday, June 29, 2009

(SNORT!) Huh! What? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am so tired today! Whatever day "today" is. Working 7 days a week is starting to really take it's toll on me. It could be Saturday and I wouldn't know it. It is difficult to tell what day it is when you do exactly the same thing day in, day out. I do know that I have no motivation this afternoon--it doesn't help that it is about 80 degrees in my office either. If I could find a comfy place to lay my head on my desk I would love to take a nap. Unfortunately, the desk is covered with a computer, printer, signs, pens, papers, pamphlets, etc. I should be creating next weeks schedule but right now my brain can't think that far ahead.

On top of that I am so homesick for Colorado!! I made the serious mistake of going to the city newspaper for the place we moved from and reading all the local news. Then I went and looked through the "Best Photo's of 2008" for the area. Beautiful views of Colorado National Monument, the Uncompaghre plateau, Grand Mesa, the valley.........I just sat here swallowing hard and fighting back the tears.

It is so hard to look back and say, "We REALLY should have thought this decision through better." I had such high hopes that moving here would be good for us and instead I don't think that a worse decision could have been made. HoneyBunny's health problems have increased to the point that I am at a loss as to what to do. So, the main reason for moving here--to get him better--is the most obvious mistake in the decision. I feel like I am living in a nightmare.

Of course the more tired I am the worse EVERYTHING is, the more depressed I get, the more hopeless I feel, the more irritable I am, the more unhappy I am, etc. In fact, I am quickly approaching the "I don't recommend talking to/bothering her" stage.

I talked to my friend in Colorado over the weekend and she thinks that my biggest problem is that I haven't had time to do ANY knitting. She said that once the 4th of July is over and I can quit working 60-70 hour weeks I will be able to do some knitting again. That will help me feel much better.

It does sound like a lovely idea.....that last sock project I started puts me right into heaven. A beautiful shifting shade of green and some absolutely divine needles from Lanturn Moon. There is something really special about those needles! They are the ebony wooden needles. I am not a fan of wooden needles, never have been, because they are so slow and the yarn sticks to them. Not these! They are smooth as glass with amazingly sharp point tips. And the! I don't WANT to knit fast. Knitting with these needles is like eating really good chocolate mousse--you want to eat tiny spoonfuls and smooth it around in your mouth really slow so that you can enjoy every single moment of every single bite. It's a euphoric moment that you don't want to end------ever.

Ok, I realize that sounds incredibly silly, but I am really tired, chocolate mousse sounds really good, and I really miss my knitting.


Awesome Mom said...


I am a wooden needle fan because I grip my needles too tightly and the metal ones hurt my hands. Wood had enough give that I don't have indentations on my fingers. Plus the fear of breaking me makes me relax my grip some.

Hege said...

I really hope you'll get some time to knit after this week is over!!
And I'd love some chocolate mousse myself... Hmmm, might make it for dessert Sunday ;)