I have been sitting on my pity pot for a couple of days (maybe longer). If you do not like to read a bunch of whining please exit now because some serious whining is about to take place. I will apologize in advance, please forgive me.
1. Five years ago my parents and I had a serious falling out. After 30 some years of constant fighting, back stabbing, rumor spreading, lying, etc. I had had it with them. They are what has been labeled "Toxic Parents". I have had to go to counselling to over-come the controlling mind games, abuse, and manipulation they put me through growing up. Not to mention, about ten years ago they convinced my oldest son that my husband and I were terrible people and that he should do some really deplorable and terrible things so that we would kick him out and he could come live with them because "they love him more than" us. Which he did and, not knowing what else to do, allowed him to move in with them. During the past five years we have had no contact, even if they see me in a building they avoid me completely as if all of this is something I have done wrong. (This is the VERY short version of all the stuff they have done to me, my husband, and our children). So Sunday I got a call from my brother that our uncle (my father's brother) had died last week. Not only did my parents not call and tell me, but they didn't think I would care. (My problem is with them! Not anyone else in my family. I have always been very close to my extended family. Unfortunately they are unaware of my parents problems.) I had to leave church because I mentally collapsed! See, this isn't the only tragedy going on in my life right now.......................
2. Shortly before the fall out with my parents, my husband, children, and I were involved in a car accident. A drunk driver hit us at a stop light (he was travelling at 45 mph and we were stopped). This accident resulted in the loss of my husbands business, the loss of my VERY good bank job, and some long lasting, on-going, pain and suffering for us and our children. After a year of not working my husband got his CDL and went to work in the oil field. His second week, after a month of training, he BROKE his back at work. Good thing for Workman's Comp. insurance right? WRONG!!!!! He spent ELEVEN MONTHS trying to work, driving trucks, with his back broke because the insurance company wouldn't admit responsibility. As a result, he has permanent nerve damage to his left leg, the bone in the area where it was broke grew and is currently causing him unimaginable amounts of pain. After a HUGE court battle he finally got some surgery. After being off work for another six months for recovery, they determined that the fusion did not work and we began fighting the insurance company again so that he could get another surgery. Finally, more than a year after the first surgery, he got a second surgery during which time the surgeon tore a hole in his spinal cord and created a spinal fluid leak. That wouldn't have been too bad except that the physical therapists at the hospital didn't read his chart that said my husband was NOT to be moved for three days. So after getting him up they suddenly realized something was not right. He spent over a week in the hospital and almost died because his vitals wouldn't recover. When he got out of the hospital he spent another four months off work trying to recover. A year later (it's been about three and a half years now) he is still in a terrible amount of pain, the neurologist says he has severe nerve damage, and he has all kinds of problems walking, they (the surgeon and doctors) THINK that the rods in his back is causing the current trouble so begins the process of getting the insurance company to pay for another surgery. Just this past summer he had to have an emergency hernia operation (a complication resulting from all of the other medical problems), and then surgery to remove the rods in his back. Unfortunately, he is still in unbearable pain--and that is WITH taking all of the pain medication he takes. We finally convinced the surgeon to really look at the MRI's and x-rays, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!! All of the movement from his back being broke and the bone trying to grow in has caused the opening for the nerve that runs down his left leg to grow closed over the nerves, pinching them off. GET THIS! The surgeon said, "Here let's look at the MRI from before we took the rods out. You can see the problem much clearer in that picture". WHAT?!!! BEFORE THE RODS WERE TAKEN OUT THIS PROBLEM WAS OBVIOUS!!!!!! (Deep breath). So, here we are four going on five years later back where we started almost. My husbands nerve problems are so sever that they don't know if the nerves will recover after being cut off for so long. He can barely walk, frequently trips, has fallen several times, is faced with loosing his job and probably will not be able to find another one because of his lack of education and his current physical limitations. We are, AGAIN, fighting the insurance company to authorize another surgery--who knows how long it will take this time.
3. Yes, there's more. After going on long term disability from the bank, I started trying to figure out what I was going to do for an income. I tried going back to college, but with my husbands problems it just was not going fast enough and we needed an income now. I quit school last April and have been trying to find a way to make money since. I have my own list of physical limitations because of the car accident and that makes it very hard to take just any job. Not to mention, the job needs to make enough money to support our family in the case that my husband ends up permanently disabled (ok, MORE disabled that he is now). I have been trying to work at home teaching knitting, spinning, etc, selling yarn and fiber, etc, whatever I can do to make a little extra. Unfortunately I can't get my business to go. I have applied for so many jobs that I am more than qualified for without any results. (Deep breath again)
4. Do you have or have you had a teen age daughter? Need I say more? As if there wasn't enough stress.
I can't believe this is my life! I am certain that there are those out there with worse problems than us and I feel a deep and emotional sorrow for them because I don't know how we have made it, not to mention how others with worse problems are making it. Believe it or not there is more, I haven't even mentioned all of the problems with our lawyer.
Thank you all for listening if you managed to read this whole sob story. I try to not think about all of this at once, but when it starts all going on at once it becomes difficult to see where one problem ends and the next begins. This has been nice to get it all off my chest for the day. It also helps to read all of your blogs each day, by taking my mind off what I have going on in my life.
Hege gave me this award the other day. I want her to know that she makes my day everyday, as do many of you.
Thank goodness for knitting!!!
The yarn is Bulky weight single ply from Brown Sheep Co. (that I recycled from another sweater I made a few years ago) and the pattern is from a Leisure Arts booklet called "Carefree Sweaters". There were supposed to be three buttons up the front opening, but I knew that I would never wear it buttoned up so I eliminated that. And there was supposed to be a little front pocket pouch (like on most hoodies) but my husband said that he really likes it without it. So I didnt put that on the sweater either.
Now I have to make three more! Everyone else in the house wants one of their own.
And Daisies are my MOST favorite flower so I had to do something to pay tribute to them. Both yarns can be found in 
These are some basic socks I made with some of the yarn I got from Hege in a yarn swap. I love these! especially the colors! I am unusally fond of olive green and tan. Midnight blue is my favorite color, but olive green and tan come in a close second. These will be a birthday present for HoneyBunny.
This is the start of this months Sockamania pattern. It has little lace hearts all up the foot and then on the leg. I am not to the heel part (you knit them starting from the toe). I couldn't resist making them in Valentine red--again, my hand-dyed yarn.
And finally, I began making another pair of fingerless mitts. These are 
